Nobody asks how the person carrying everything is doing.
I plow snow and clear roads for a living. I homeschool my teenager. I take care of eight birds, a dog, and a cat — all rescues. I help out at family’s restaurant when they need me. And somewhere in all of that, I’m supposed to keep myself going too.
Most days I do. But I want to be honest about the days I don’t.
Running on empty is real
There are days my feet hurt so much I don’t want to stand up. Days I’m so tired it goes past my body and settles somewhere deeper. Days where I give and give — to my daughter, to the animals, to family — and there’s nothing left over for me.
If you’re a mom reading this and you know exactly what I mean, this post is for you.
The part nobody talks about
We’re told being tired is just part of it. Push through. Everybody’s busy. Everybody’s got problems.
But there’s a difference between tired and empty. Tired, you sleep off. Empty is when you’re still giving after the tank’s already dry, because people are counting on you and you don’t know how to stop.
I don’t have a perfect answer. I’m living it too.
What I’m learning (slowly)
That resting isn’t quitting. That saying “not today” doesn’t make me a bad mom, or a bad daughter, or a bad anything. That the person who holds everyone up needs holding too — and it’s okay to need that.
I’m not good at it yet. But I’m trying.
If you’re that mom
You’re not alone. I see you. The one who does everything and wonders who’s doing anything for her.
Rest when you can. Take the quiet day when it comes. And know that being tired doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means you’re carrying a lot, and you’ve been carrying it for a long time.
I’m not a doctor or a counselor — just a mom sharing honestly. If you’re struggling more than tired, please reach out to someone who can help.
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